butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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