And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
