So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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