Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
