So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
