you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
