she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Who died my cat blue again?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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