I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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