is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sorry about my life...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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