I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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