If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
