I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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