Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize