I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
