none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize