He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
