Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
