kristin has been a bad kristin
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
