I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Sober January is a disaster.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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