so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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