Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
