I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
