The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
