She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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