All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
