Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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