We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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