I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
