dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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