are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
