I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
