Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
