Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
