a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
