Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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