yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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