Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
