For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
