I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Even my vagina gasped.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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