he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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