OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
