I'm so fucking centered right now
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My pussy is not your playground.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
