just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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