You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
