i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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