all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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