I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have tasted many bathrooms
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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