Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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