still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
