well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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