i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
