oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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