physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i dont even know how to be here
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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