He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
