im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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