I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
