My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize