So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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