My room smells like vodka and shame
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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