im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
