More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize